At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She announced her abortion via fbk
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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