You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
