Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
