Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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