I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize