this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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