so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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