there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
