The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
