I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
