Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
