I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
