I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
