I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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