ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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