Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
