$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
