Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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