so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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