I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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