It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
