I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
