thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
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Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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