Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
