i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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