Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
