Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i think my cat just said my name.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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