did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
