I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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