am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
