you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
