no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
