Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
