It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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