Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize