Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
