I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
