Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
