What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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