hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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