We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
