Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...

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(713): View more from Texas

eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"

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(206): View more from Washington

I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.

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(563): View more from Iowa

whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.

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The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Read it at the TFLN blog
(314): View more from Missouri

In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major

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(317): View more from Indiana

The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs

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(207): View more from Maine

I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.

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