we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think people are normalizing furries