Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.