Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(

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  (925): I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :( http://tfl.nu/pd8d
  Replies (26) Good night (565) Bad night (3635)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.

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  (772): I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die. http://tfl.nu/szbq
  Replies (26) Good night (833) Bad night (3769)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  tequila makes her clothes fall off

  (512): View more from Texas

  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
  Replies (28) Good night (1897) Bad night (8064)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"

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  (617): college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place" http://tfl.nu/mdbw
  Replies (39) Good night (6107) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.

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  (281): my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious. http://tfl.nu/99ri
  Replies (48) Good night (6104) Bad night (1081)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge

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  (845): I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge http://tfl.nu/to4j
  Replies (25) Good night (899) Bad night (6081)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.

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  (937): Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed. http://tfl.nu/c6ek
  Replies (8) Good night (2808) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..

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  (970): dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them.. http://tfl.nu/vwfx
  Replies (6) Good night (3030) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.

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  (905): We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila. http://tfl.nu/k7ds
  Replies (4) Good night (1988) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.

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  (802): Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up. http://tfl.nu/eawi
  Replies (7) Good night (2987) Bad night (578)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2254) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture

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  (920): bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture http://tfl.nu/2y39
  Replies (7) Good night (491) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.

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  (281): I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed. http://tfl.nu/u1zj
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.

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  (512): You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you. http://tfl.nu/5imo
  Replies (1) Good night (762) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.

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  (817): If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text. http://tfl.nu/t6cn
  Replies (1) Good night (440) Bad night (224)

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