Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.