Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.

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  (909): dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/pv9g
  Replies (42) Good night (3593) Bad night (556)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

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  (215): yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer" http://tfl.nu/i0t9
  Replies (33) Good night (8330) Bad night (798)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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  (508): i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip. http://tfl.nu/di6e
  Replies (10) Good night (3406) Bad night (1588)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...

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  (850): Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it... http://tfl.nu/c9zy
  Replies (15) Good night (832) Bad night (4200)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm there.

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  (785): I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show. (816): I'm there. http://tfl.nu/3vob
  Replies (6) Good night (941) Bad night (1221)
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  (530): View more from California

  Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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  (530): Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication http://tfl.nu/e0p4
  Replies (11) Good night (2358) Bad night (612)
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  (559): View more from California

  I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas

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  (559): I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas http://tfl.nu/6rrb
  Replies (9) Good night (2205) Bad night (651)
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  (415): View more from California

  theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?

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  (415): theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours? http://tfl.nu/bjo4
  Replies (6) Good night (1052) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good

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  (847): This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good http://tfl.nu/2hdv
  Replies (8) Good night (1992) Bad night (430)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode

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  (425): Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode http://tfl.nu/uu73
  Replies (5) Good night (410) Bad night (665)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?

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  (734): But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know? http://tfl.nu/qpnv
  Replies (14) Good night (620) Bad night (1145)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.

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  (406): Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan. http://tfl.nu/6agv
  Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (362)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into

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  (313): Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into http://tfl.nu/0v44
  Replies (1) Good night (311) Bad night (838)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period

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  (406): I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period http://tfl.nu/lg74
  Replies (7) Good night (406) Bad night (683)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.

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  (617): In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame. http://tfl.nu/9nrq
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (453)

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