Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off. http://tfl.nu/09ia
  Replies (11) Good night (2907) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs http://tfl.nu/yswk
  Replies (18) Good night (10807) Bad night (1411)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials. http://tfl.nu/lmhg
  Replies (10) Good night (4040) Bad night (1424)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls http://tfl.nu/0ix2
  Replies (3) Good night (3339) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  ..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): ..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making http://tfl.nu/m2re
  Replies (10) Good night (3527) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental? http://tfl.nu/sd8n
  Replies (21) Good night (1476) Bad night (2777)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.

  (1-270): View more from Kentucky

  I miss high conversations.

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Swinging. Is. Amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high. (1-270): I miss high conversations. (270): Swinging. Is. Amazing. http://tfl.nu/qk9i
  Replies (5) Good night (2372) Bad night (1491)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1
  Replies (1) Good night (1125) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME. http://tfl.nu/12ba
  Replies (7) Good night (673) Bad night (1472)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside. http://tfl.nu/tt6u
  Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night. http://tfl.nu/tzdh
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge http://tfl.nu/undc
  Replies (8) Good night (1377) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes. http://tfl.nu/6vbt
  Replies (1) Good night (399) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears. http://tfl.nu/mw0m
  Replies (10) Good night (1171) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul. http://tfl.nu/9aqu
  Replies (6) Good night (765) Bad night (494)

Randomize