He uses pillows to masturbate.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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