i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she told me i tasted like america
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
