But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
