I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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