Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
