she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
