Just fell off a train. Bad.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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