I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
