Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
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She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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