jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
