my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
