Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize