just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
