Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
