I think scott just propositioned me for sex
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
