so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
