its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
