at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
wow bdsm is so cute
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
