he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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