If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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