So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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