So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
