I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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