Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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