I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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