i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My life is pants optional.
Help. Why am I so naked?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
